7 Sept. 2014 Matthew 18:15-20 - Dealing with Difficult People
Difficult people have been a fact of life ever
since human life began. As human beings
we know we are sometimes difficult ourselves. As Christians, we believe that
Christ is reconciling the creation and each of us in it to God and to one
another. Dealing with difficult people in the church is about getting all
parties directly involved around a table that focuses on the unconditional love
of God for every human being and on the reality that we were created for
relationship both with God and each other. It is in that context that real
conversation and real reconciliation can take place. Paul calls this process
“speaking the truth to one another in love.” As members of the Anglican
Communion, the Elizabethan Compromise reminded us to stay focused on God’s love
in order to stay present even with the people we find difficult, speak the
truth to each other in love, and learn how to agree to disagree. In the past
few years, the word “indaba” was borrowed from Africa to remind us once again
that dealing with difficult people (and ideas) is about gathering together to
sort out mutual problems in a context where everyone has a voice and where
there is an attempt to find a common mind or common story that everyone is able
to tell – to remember that reconciliation is the common story we all share.
We are all called to the ministry of
reconciliation. We are all called to assume responsibility for speaking truth
to one another in love. That ministry can be specific – that difficult person
who pushes our ability to stay present with them, to stay in relationship, to
stay focused on God’s love of them (and us). Reconciliation can be more general
– those difficult systems and structures that establish criteria for who gets
to be included, how resources should be allocated and whose lives count more
than others. Justice can emerge when we
can begin to see difficult people, difficult systems and difficult structures
as an opportunity for doing the work of reconciling creation and each of us in
it to God and each other.
